50 is the new … whatever

So, this has been a weird year.  I turned 50 last year with a bit of a splash.  I put on my party face and embraced the year being all about me.  50 is the new 40, so no big deal.  It turned out it was a big deal.   The sense of my age suddenly dropped on me like a bucket of cold water.  My physical and mental health health also challenged me more than I expected.

 So, I let that age sink me a little for the following six months.  With 2024 and the New Year, I gave myself a kick up the arse and started to reemerge from a post-50 depression.   This year, I began to shout a little louder.   I adjusted to a different sense of self.    I let my personality out a bit. I became less willing to change myself to fit a younger woman’s mould and no longer apologised for my more eccentric traits; this self-acceptance made me stronger.

My understanding of my physical health has changed, as has how I manage my mental health. A flu virus really knocked me for six, and it has taken me a lot longer to recover than in previous years. This has made me more aware of what I must do to ensure my health. I have put more practical boundaries in place, professionally and personally, to ensure I get the necessary downtime I need to be healthy.

I shifted my spirit guide, throwing away my younger self’s Disney princess and embracing the evil queen. I am enjoying it more than some people think is healthy. It is a relief to let my sarcastic personality shine through, as age gives me some unexpected advantages.  

So, in a couple of weeks, I will be 51. I am getting my head back in the game. It just took me the first half of this year to recalibrate. I feel younger than I did at the start of the year. Being more confident in myself has allowed me to travel backwards. The next half of the year is going to be interesting.