Life has this annoying habit of throwing curveballs right when you think you’ve got things under control. One moment you’re ticking along just fine, and the next – bang – you’re overwhelmed, emotional, and making snap decisions that often make things worse. Trust me, I’ve been there. Add in the lovely cocktail of perimenopause hormones, and you’ve got yourself a perfect emotional storm.
So, in this post, I want to talk about how we can pause, breathe, and find our footing again when everything feels like it’s falling apart. I’ll be sharing a mix of my own experience, things I’ve learned from others, and a few gems I’ve picked up online.
Pause When You Feel Yourself Spiralling
This one hits close to home for me right now. When something knocks you off balance – a personal crisis, bad news, or just one of those “I can’t cope” days – it’s easy to reach for a quick fix. Whether it’s treating yourself to comfort food or a little retail therapy, we have all had those moments where you try to escape from the problem. My weakness is technology and LEGO. A rush of dopamine, a sudden decision, anything that gives you a moment of relief.
But those instant reactions? They rarely help in the long run. The most helpful thing I’ve learned is to pause. Literally stop. Take a breath. Create space between the feeling and the action. Sometimes that pause resembles a five-minute meditation or a brief walk. For others, it might be scribbling down a pros and cons list or simply taking some time to think about it. The key is to avoid jumping in head-first when your head isn’t in the right place. Bring yourself down to an even keel, and you will be able to look at the problem without building it up to be something even more scary
Sleep On It (If You Can)
Easier said than done, I know – especially if your mind is racing at 3am. But a good night’s sleep really can make a world of difference. Everything feels ten times more dramatic when you’re tired.
If sleep isn’t coming easily, consider trying out some relaxation techniques or guided sleep videos to calm your mind.
Pausing does not mean hiding from the problem
It often seems easier to try to ignore the problem when you feel overwhelmed. But that rarely works for me. The longer I leave something, the more stressed I get about it. After I have paused and made sure I am calm and ready to deal with the problem, it’s best to confront the issues and get it over with. If you have let yourself pause to clear your head, roll up your sleeves, and look at what can be done.
One Step at a Time – Break It Down
When problems feel huge, it’s natural to freeze. We avoid, procrastinate, comfort ourselves with Netflix and snacks. (Again, been there.) But tackling things in small, manageable chunks can make all the difference.
Ask yourself:
What’s the very first step I can take today?
What part of this can I control right now?
Even one small action – making a phone call, sending an email, writing down your thoughts – can help you feel more grounded and in control.
Build Resilience (It’s a Skill, Not a Superpower)
Let’s be honest: life isn’t going to stop throwing challenges at us. So the goal isn’t to avoid them, but to get better at dealing with them.
Resilience is something we build. It’s like emotional muscle – the more we practice, the stronger we get. And every time you get through a tough patch, you’re quietly adding to that strength bank.
Reach Out – Even If It Feels Awkward
One of the hardest things to do when you’re struggling is to reach out. Our instinct is to isolate, put on a brave face, and pretend we’ve got it all under control. But talking to someone – even just one person – can break that cycle.
You don’t need to launch into a full-on therapy session. It can be something as simple as:
“Can I talk to you for five minutes? I just need to vent.”
“I’m struggling a bit and could use some support.”
Chances are, they’ll be more than willing to listen – and it’ll help more than you think.
If you’re going through a tough time right now, please know you’re not alone. Pause. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. Talk to someone. Get some rest. And remember, every step forward – no matter how small – is progress.
And if all else fails… have a good cry, make a cuppa, and start again tomorrow.